Just an Update

Well I moved into a house in Valliant, Oklahoma. Am living by myself again.  A very good friend took a job in Ardmore and ask me to live in her home so it would not be empty.  I also have my VA benifits approved and have had several appointments the last was the 4th of August, and they did a heart cath. I have another artery blocked. They cannot open it--I must learn to live with it--just like the other two.
   This living on a fixed income is sometimes very hard to do; but I am managing.  I have learned the difference between wants and needs.  Well,  I will try to post everyday.  Yea right.

Traveling Audio: MY NEW EXCITING LIFE

Traveling Audio: MY NEW EXCITING LIFE

JUST ANOTHER UP DATE

Tuesday, July 13, 2010     THIS IS TH E JOURNAL OF WILLIAM (BILL) R. JENNINGS  SR.   born at Fort Carson ,Colorado. I will fill in history as I go (day by day) this am  I awoke at 0340 and could not return to sleep. I got up and turned on the coffee pot my sister , Betsy had  prepared the previous night. Thanks Sis.
     I am visiting my two sisters  Merry (0lder than me) and Betsy (younger  than me).  They live up here in the great state of Oklahoma. There were eight in kids in my family.  Marvin(the oldest) died in a truck wreck just north of Houston Texas on interstate 45 in 1970. That leaves me the oldest male child (if 58 is still considered a child).  I have had a year, well, terrible  would be an understatement.  As a Cross Country Truck driver, I stay away  from home for 3 to 4 weeks at a time. Then I take 4 four days off.
I came home on the 18th of April  2009, with a very bad case of kidney stones--pain lots of pain--showered and went to be, I could not get in to see the doctor until 1500 (for you civilians that's 3pm) on the 19th of April.  I had no pain pills so I stayed in bed flat on my back until 1300 (1pm) got up to get ready for the doctor's visit, found out none of the laundry had be done while I was gone, therefore; I had  only dress pants and a white shirt to wear. Went looking for Trudy(my wife) she was not in the house, I saw her walking back and forth outside the front fence talking to someone on her cell phone. {still in her night gown and robe} I called to her and tried to get her attention but was ignored. After approximately 20 minutes  my daughter ,Barbara .drove up followed by my son Bill (both should have been at work).  I was sitting on the front porch when Trudy walked over to me and said " I know you will not understand this, but I am leaving."     To say the least I was devastated October 26th of 2009 would have been our 38 wedding anniversary.  I think she already had the car packed, as soon as she changed cloths she left.  I started walking not knowing or caring where  I was going.  Bill and Barbara found me about 30 minutes later and Barbara took me to my Doctors appointment.  The doctor gave me 2 shots of morphine and 40 vicadan and told me to go home stay in bed for 3 days.  I did, my phone did not ring for 4 days and not one person came to see if I was still alive.  {I really felt loved at that time in my life}. no one  called or checked on me at all..
I did not have transportation to go to the doctor, Trudy took her car, my kids thought that was just fine , at least  they never said anything different.  By the way we only had one car.  I went back to work two days later driving a truck and  tried to restart my life. This went ok until March the 19th of 2010 when my DOT physical expired and I had to take a physical, which I failed.
On the 23rd of March 2010 Doctor Henry put 4 stints in my heart, he told me I would not be able to return to  work until at least 7/8/10.
On the late night of the 28th of March I was severally depressed and tried to end my life, all I did was make myself sick and labeled as  a threat to myself, therefore a County Judge had me (hospitalized )for 10 days  at ETMCBC that's EAST TEXAS MEDICAL CENTER/BEHAVIORAL CLINIC.
This  really is a good unit and they did help me understand what was wrong with me and that I was not JUST CRAZY, I was told that I had  severe depression and hyper tension, both common in heart patients.. I was there twice for 10 days and once for 4 days.
Well on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd of June 2010 I was back in the hospital with chest
pain.. Dr.Henry had a necular stress test done and it showed one of the three stints he had put in back in 08 had blocked 100% and because of it's relation to two other stints could not be unplugged by another stint and was not a candidate  for by-pass surgery. I was now 100% disabled.
     By now KLLM had terminated my employment  and my insurance was gone,situation----no insurance--no income--I was living in an 18 foot camper trailer that had the back wall burned out--no water--no sewer and no electric (well Jennifer and John ran a 110 volt extension cord 300 yards so I couldd at least have light)---no AC temps were in the 90+  every day.
I applied at the VA and was promptly informed that if I made over 32.000$ the previous year I was not eligible--I did not need help last year because I worked every day od that year. So I was sent to Social Security  for  emergency assistance. this takes 90 plus days after you apply and are approved, as of today Thursday, July 15, 2010 I have now had a word from them.  I have worked my entire adult life, served in the military and never ask for a thing.  It took me  2 months just to get food stamps. The only reason I have a place to live is because a friend (Terry Sipes) let me have that 18 foot travel trailer and John Allison rebuild, moved and leveled it for me. On about the 20th of June I was hooked up to electric service. I still have to use the on board  storage system for water and sewer.  Pawn shops and the good graces of friends is all that keep me going (I get $200 a month in food stamps) The water company said that it would take $400 dollars to place a water meter for me to hook up to. The sewer system will be closer to $5000 as it must be a "green system".  When you become disabled you a re expected to just walk away and die---wait---tried that they stopped me.  Must be done the legal way -STARVATION.
     Well now, let me bring you up to date.  Monday, July 19, 2010. Today I have an appointment with caring hands an Oklahoma system  much the same as we have at home. On Friday the 16th I had an anxiety attack and went to the ER  blood work and EKG were fine pulse was 51 BP was 176 over 87
The ER doctor gave me 4 baby aspirin and a shot of atavan and I returned home., oh yea he also wrote me a script for atavan.  This all took place at approximately 2--3 pm, at about 9 pm I went out in cut off PJ bottoms and boots (no socks) my pick-up windows were down and I wanted to roll them up.I have no idea why however; I decided to go for a walk (my sister lives in the country).   one and on half mile later a state trooper,three city police, one county cop, and  two firemen and my nephew. found me walking and signing military cadence calls on the gravel road.  I was told I reported to them that I was Staff Sargent Jennings gave my ssn and had no idea what I had done wrong. So another ambulance trip to the ER and more drugs and sent back home.  The ER doctor said my pulse rate was lower than normal and I should have someone watch it for the next 48 hours.
     I really wish I knew how to find my way back to normal, I would most reassuringly and gladly return there.
     I miss being able to work(that really sounds bad, but it's true).   I have tried walking around the pastures and woods but there are to many ticks and chiggers,  the first time I walked I bet I had at least 500 bites.  Josh and I went out twice to shot snakes and turtles in the ponds,  but at $8 a box that gets to  expensive, even at one shot one kill.  Heat is a real problem up here also most days by 1000 am it is in the 90's with over 102 heat index.
    I watch Alice in Wonderland the other day (the new version) and I understood Alice's situation much better this time.
     Time for good news------Joe (my brother-in-law) gave me a Cadillac (1986) car. It  needs work (BUT I DON'T CARE) it's been so long since anyone gave me something I would have been just as happy had it been a little red wagon.

JUST WHAT HAVE WE BECOME

Tuesday, July 13, 2010     THIS IS THE JOURNAL OF WILLIAM (BILL) R. JENNINGS  SR.   born 04/18/1952 at Fort Carson ,Colorado. I will fill in history as I go (day by day) this am  I awoke at 0340 and could not return to sleep. I got up and turned on the coffee pot my sister , Betsy had  prepared the previous night. Thanks Sis.
     I am visiting my two sisters  Merry (0lder than me) and Betsy (younger  than me).  They live up here in the great state of Oklahoma. There were eight in kids in my family.  Marvin(the oldest) died in a truck wreck just north of Houston Texas on interstate 45 in 1970. That leaves me the oldest male child (if 58 is still considered a child).  I have had a year, well, terrible  would be an understatement.  As a Cross Country Truck driver, I stay away  from home for 3 to 4 weeks at a time. Then I take 4 four days off.
I came home on the 18th of April  2009, with a very bad case of kidney stones--pain lots of pain--showered and went to be, I could not get in to see the doctor until 1500 (for you civilians that's 3pm) on the 19th of April.  I had no pain pills so I stayed in bed flat on my back until 1300 (1pm) got up to get ready for the doctor's visit, found out none of the laundry had be done while I was gone, therefore; I had  only dress pants and a white shirt to wear. Went looking for Trudy(my wife) she was not in the house, I saw her walking back and forth outside the front fence talking to someone on her cell phone. {still in her robe} I called to her and tried to get her attention but was ignored. After approximately 20 minutes  my daughter ,Barbara .drove up followed by my son Bill (both should have been at work).  I was sitting on the front porch when Trudy walked over to me and said " I know you will not understand this, but I am leaving."     To say the least I was devastated October 26th of 2009 would have been our 38 wedding anniversary.  I think she already had the car packed, as soon as she changed cloths she left.  I started walking not knowing or caring where  I was going.  Bill and Barbara found me about 30 minutes later and Barbara took me to my Doctors appointment.  The doctor gave me 2 shots of morphine and 40 zynax and told me to go home stay in bed for 3 days.  I did, my phone did not ring for 4 days and not one person came to see if I was still alive.  {I really felt loved at that time in my life}. no one  called or checked on me at all..
I did not have transportation to go to the doctor, Trudy took her car, my kids thought that was just fine , at least  they never said anything different.  By the way we only had one car.  I went back to work two days later driving a truck and  tried to restart my life. This went on until March the 19th of 2010 when my DOT physical expired and I had to take a physical, which I failed.
On the 23rd of March 2010 Doctor Henry put 4 stints in my heart, he told me I would not be able to return to  work until at least 7/8/10.
On the late night of the 28th of March I was severally depressed and ttried to end my life, all I did was make myself sick and labled as  a threat to myself, therefore a County Judge had me (hospitalized )for 10 days  at ETMCBC that's EAST TEXAS MEDICAL CENTER/BEHAVIORAL CLINIC.
This  really is a good unit and they did help me understand what was wrong with me and that I was not JUST CRAZY, I was told that I had  severe depression and hyper tension, both common in heart patients.. I was there twice for 10 days and once for 4 days.
Well on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd of June 2010 I was back in the hospital with chest
pain.. Dr.Henry had a necular stress test done and it showed one of the three stints he had put in back in 08 had blocked 100% and because of it's relation to two other stints could not be unplugged by another stint and was not a candidate  for by-pass surgery. I was now 100% disabled.
     By now KLLM had terminated my employment  and my insurance was gone,situation----no insurance--no income--I was living in an 18 foot camper trailer that had the back wall burned out--no water--no sewer and no electric (well Jennifer and John ran a 110 volt extension cord 300 yards so I couldd at least have light)---no AC temps were in the 90+  every day.
I applied at the VA and was promptly informed that if I made over 32.000$ the previous year I was not eligible--I did not need help last year because I worked every day of that year. So I was sent to Social Security  for  emergency assistance. this takes 90 plus days after you apply and are approved, as of today Thursday, July 15, 2010 I have now had a word from them.  I have worked my entire adult life, served in the military and never ask for a thing.  It took me  2 months just to get food stamps. The only reason I have a place to live is because a friend (Terry Sipes) let me have that 18 foot travel trailer and John Allison rebuild, moved and leveled it for me. On about the 20th of June I was hooked up to electric service. I still have to use the on board  storage system for water and sewer.  Pawn shops and the good graces of friends is all that keep me going (I get $200 a month in food stamps) The water company said that it would take $400 dollars to place a water meter for me to hook up to. The sewer system will be closer to $5000 as it must be a "green system".  When you become disabled you a re expected to just walk away and die---wait---tried that they stopped me.  Must be done the legal was STARVATION.

THE FAMILY JENSON

Well, the Johnstones have hit one clear out of the field again! This book (THE FAMILY JENSON) fills in blanks in the life of Preacher, Smoke and Matt.  I recieved a copy from Jo several weeks ago; to my dismay I just started reading it last night. Now I cannot get enough of it. I will do a better job of
reviewing it very soon (after I read it--probably twice).

A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED

 I retired from driving on the 25th of March 2010.  I went into see my Doctor for my annual stress test, and failed miserably.  On the 26th of March 2010 I found myself getting 4 stints put in my heart,  this now makes a total of 12 since 1999.  I was told I could not return to work before 8 July 2010,  with that news and a recent divorce, plus pay cuts, insurance premiums doubling, and miles dropping (truckers are paid by the number of miles they drive) and a few other problems I slipped into the land of deep depression.  NOT A GOOD PLACE AT ALL. 
I went through hospital stays and several medicines before I started to climb up out of that hole.  Along the way I met a man, (I already thought I knew him) who gave of his time based upon what I needed not what he needed.
  And I mean physical work, he rebuilt my camper trailer, cleared the land, leveled the spot, set the utility pole, wired my camper, fixed the roof leaks,
moved my shop building and leveled it. And still worked his regular job 10 hours a day!
All I was able to do was walk around and get in the way,  I had another artery plug off 100% on the 2 of June 2010. This one unfix able.
His only complaints were the heat, and not enough time to do what needed each day. He was helped by my sister's son J.W. who also worked and helped beyond belief.  All of this work almost everyday for 1 and 1/2 months was for free.  His wife and J.W.'s were not left out as they along with my daughter packed and moved my things to my new home--an 18 foot camper trailer, not easy, as I was living in a three bedroom 2 bath house for the past 20 plus years.  A lot of stuff I thought I could never part with is now gone (no room).  But thanks to friends (not just relatives) I have a place I can afford (free) and friends to look after me.
  The man I am writing about's name is John Allison he is married to my younger brother's daughter Jennifer.  As far as I know he has never refused to help anyone.  He is a sterling example of what a friend should be, not just a relative but a friend.

A whole new adventure

Moving from a 3 bedroom 2 bath home into a 20 foot camper, is (to say the least) an adventure. This camper is a salvage camper that had a fire and I am having to rebuild a lot. I would not say my new home is small, but if you want to sit down you need to back in the front door. A lot of things I thought I could not live with out, no longer matter. (no room). Should have permanent water hook up by end of May, electric is probably about the same time. My trailer is self contained, it has a fresh water tank and sewage tank, the problem is learning to live on one single 110 volt outlet.I tried to run a small (2 foot by 2 foot) refrigerator, and it burned out the compressor , the same problem makes me not use my new microwave.
As I have said before going from an income of approximately $4,000 a month income to $0 (and not being able to work) adds a still more challenging set of problems. SSI might or might not start in 90 days.
Disability, according to a new law passed in March, 2010 makes you wait 5 full months before you are even able to get anything and then it pays at the end of the 6th month. Also the new law ended all back pay for the first 5 months. Maybe the way to get SSI and disability back on their feet
is just to starve out those of use who have paid in over 40 years of SSI?

You see even if I pick up cans on the side of the road and sell them, if I get caught by SSI or SSD I lose even that, because I applied for full disability. But then SSI is a little over $600 a month, even a member of congress should be able to live off of that income. (maybe for a day if he skipped lunch). I do not know if this is true or not but I was told we give the people in Afghanistan and Bagdad more than that.

MY BATTLE/MY COMING VICTORY

I guess there comes a time in every ones life when there health issues get to a point you can no longer support yourself. I am afraid I have reached that point! I will be 58 on the 18th of April. in the last 6 years I have had 12 stints and a double bypass,
the last stints were on the 25th of March 2010.
If there was one thing I could share with everyone it would be, STAY HEART SMART.
That to me means start eating right at an early age, and exercise, OH YEA BIGGIE FOR SOME OF US QUIT SMOKING. When my problems started I was smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day, I was not eating anything except fast food (I was a truck driver) the only exercise I got was hooking up and unhooking to a trailer.
For me the smoking stopped almost the same time as my first heart episode; however it was already to late almost 30 years of smoking caught up with me.
My last stint placement sent me into deep depression, through things that happened in the following 3 days (which I will not put on here).

On the Monday morning after my stint placement I awoke in a hospital, yes I was very afraid I did not remember any thing after 7 pm the night before. I know I was very aggressive (sounds better than what I really was). I was in the
behavioral hospital for 7 days.
No it was not like you see in the movies! It is a mostly a normal hospital with specialty Nurses and Tecks, my room did not have a lock I had very good meals not at all like you would expect in a regular hospital, I was monitored more than any one else because of my recent heart problem. By the second day, I felt at home (or at least as close as one can) and had made some very good friends. Depression is something that sneaks up on you; unless you know the signs. I will not pretend to know them all but, I know know how to get well now. I will write more as I progress. To go from over $4,000 a month to $0 in one week, well that was just another part of my problem. I'll blog more later.

TOM CLANCY//// JACK RYAN SERIES

I have been listening to the Jack Ryan series of Audio books, unabridged,
and had forgotten just how good a writer Tom Clancy is. If we could only get a Jack Ryan as our president, our country-no the world- would be better for it. Most of this series are 14 hours or more and hold the listeners attention from the first to the last.

I was in Montana on the 1st of January the temp was -28 and the wind chill was -51. The diesel froze in the hose while I was trying to fill my tanks.

Well got to go as I am unloaded here in Allentown, Pa.
PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR E-MAIL ME LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. ALSO IF YOU CAN RECOMMEND A GOOD BOOK.

Michael Hazard/THE SEA'S FURY

I am looking forward to reviewing a new audio book "THE SEA'S FURY" by Michael Hazard. He contacted me and ask if I would like to review his book, of course I said yes. Below I am pasting his description of himself , and his book. Click on the title to go to his web site www.spinnakerpress.com/
__________________________________________________________
I'm a former "Coastie" (70-76) and wrote the book based on CG historical events and my own experience.

This Coast Guard book is dedicated to and personifies that spirit of lifesaving that still lives in the hearts and minds of determined and dedicated men and women who call the sea their home, who guard America's coastlines, and are "Always Ready" to save a life at sea.

The Sea's Fury is an adventure/drama with breathtaking rescues and thrilling exploits that will take you inside the action packed world of the U.S. Coast Guard