JUST WHAT HAVE WE BECOME

Tuesday, July 13, 2010     THIS IS THE JOURNAL OF WILLIAM (BILL) R. JENNINGS  SR.   born 04/18/1952 at Fort Carson ,Colorado. I will fill in history as I go (day by day) this am  I awoke at 0340 and could not return to sleep. I got up and turned on the coffee pot my sister , Betsy had  prepared the previous night. Thanks Sis.
     I am visiting my two sisters  Merry (0lder than me) and Betsy (younger  than me).  They live up here in the great state of Oklahoma. There were eight in kids in my family.  Marvin(the oldest) died in a truck wreck just north of Houston Texas on interstate 45 in 1970. That leaves me the oldest male child (if 58 is still considered a child).  I have had a year, well, terrible  would be an understatement.  As a Cross Country Truck driver, I stay away  from home for 3 to 4 weeks at a time. Then I take 4 four days off.
I came home on the 18th of April  2009, with a very bad case of kidney stones--pain lots of pain--showered and went to be, I could not get in to see the doctor until 1500 (for you civilians that's 3pm) on the 19th of April.  I had no pain pills so I stayed in bed flat on my back until 1300 (1pm) got up to get ready for the doctor's visit, found out none of the laundry had be done while I was gone, therefore; I had  only dress pants and a white shirt to wear. Went looking for Trudy(my wife) she was not in the house, I saw her walking back and forth outside the front fence talking to someone on her cell phone. {still in her robe} I called to her and tried to get her attention but was ignored. After approximately 20 minutes  my daughter ,Barbara .drove up followed by my son Bill (both should have been at work).  I was sitting on the front porch when Trudy walked over to me and said " I know you will not understand this, but I am leaving."     To say the least I was devastated October 26th of 2009 would have been our 38 wedding anniversary.  I think she already had the car packed, as soon as she changed cloths she left.  I started walking not knowing or caring where  I was going.  Bill and Barbara found me about 30 minutes later and Barbara took me to my Doctors appointment.  The doctor gave me 2 shots of morphine and 40 zynax and told me to go home stay in bed for 3 days.  I did, my phone did not ring for 4 days and not one person came to see if I was still alive.  {I really felt loved at that time in my life}. no one  called or checked on me at all..
I did not have transportation to go to the doctor, Trudy took her car, my kids thought that was just fine , at least  they never said anything different.  By the way we only had one car.  I went back to work two days later driving a truck and  tried to restart my life. This went on until March the 19th of 2010 when my DOT physical expired and I had to take a physical, which I failed.
On the 23rd of March 2010 Doctor Henry put 4 stints in my heart, he told me I would not be able to return to  work until at least 7/8/10.
On the late night of the 28th of March I was severally depressed and ttried to end my life, all I did was make myself sick and labled as  a threat to myself, therefore a County Judge had me (hospitalized )for 10 days  at ETMCBC that's EAST TEXAS MEDICAL CENTER/BEHAVIORAL CLINIC.
This  really is a good unit and they did help me understand what was wrong with me and that I was not JUST CRAZY, I was told that I had  severe depression and hyper tension, both common in heart patients.. I was there twice for 10 days and once for 4 days.
Well on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd of June 2010 I was back in the hospital with chest
pain.. Dr.Henry had a necular stress test done and it showed one of the three stints he had put in back in 08 had blocked 100% and because of it's relation to two other stints could not be unplugged by another stint and was not a candidate  for by-pass surgery. I was now 100% disabled.
     By now KLLM had terminated my employment  and my insurance was gone,situation----no insurance--no income--I was living in an 18 foot camper trailer that had the back wall burned out--no water--no sewer and no electric (well Jennifer and John ran a 110 volt extension cord 300 yards so I couldd at least have light)---no AC temps were in the 90+  every day.
I applied at the VA and was promptly informed that if I made over 32.000$ the previous year I was not eligible--I did not need help last year because I worked every day of that year. So I was sent to Social Security  for  emergency assistance. this takes 90 plus days after you apply and are approved, as of today Thursday, July 15, 2010 I have now had a word from them.  I have worked my entire adult life, served in the military and never ask for a thing.  It took me  2 months just to get food stamps. The only reason I have a place to live is because a friend (Terry Sipes) let me have that 18 foot travel trailer and John Allison rebuild, moved and leveled it for me. On about the 20th of June I was hooked up to electric service. I still have to use the on board  storage system for water and sewer.  Pawn shops and the good graces of friends is all that keep me going (I get $200 a month in food stamps) The water company said that it would take $400 dollars to place a water meter for me to hook up to. The sewer system will be closer to $5000 as it must be a "green system".  When you become disabled you a re expected to just walk away and die---wait---tried that they stopped me.  Must be done the legal was STARVATION.